Instinct of the Heart
by Crystal Snowflakes
Summary: [Chapter 1 Up!] A girl lacking self-esteem falls into Middle-Earth and becomes the Mirkwood Prince's fiancée's servant. What will happen if she falls for the Prince and how can a lowly human like her compare to such a beauty like Lady Merenwen? Language
1. Prologue

Prologue

By Crystal

Author's Notes:  Well, this is my new story.  I hope you all like it and if you are interested in being in the mailing list, please put your email in your review or you can email me and tell me.  Tell me what you think about this!  By the way, it's dark at the beginning, but it'll change.  That, I promise you.

Summary: A girl lacking self-esteem and socializing skills falls into Middle-Earth, more clearly, Mirkwood.  Refusing to stay without work, she makes a deal with King Thranduil and ends up being the Prince's fiancée's servant.  Merenwen Inglorion is a gorgeous elf, one that is beautiful, kind and witty.  How will a mere human, a lowly human compare herself to such beauty?  And what will happen when she falls for Merenwen's fiancé, Prince Legolas of the Northern Mirkwood?

*We all know who this belongs to... ^^;;*

I bit back tears as they began forming in my eyes, the slap still stinging on my cheek.  My whole body was aching with pain as I remembered the words that came out of my father's mouth...  Even though he was definitely _not_ sober.  I remembered his slurred words as he slapped me yet again.

_You useless piece of shit!  Go get a fucking job and get some money.  Your mother had to fucking die, why did she have to fucking die?_

I watched as my father's back disappeared through the door before I stood up quietly, using the wall as support.  I looked around the gray empty walls, once again hoping I was anywhere but here.  Being dead would be better off than being here.  My mother died after getting beaten up by my father, although nobody here cared.

Murders happened every day, every frigging hour of the day and no one cared.  There were less and less polices on the streets, people just cared less and less.  Everyday, people died.  I wouldn't have been surprised if I died tomorrow and my dad didn't give me a funeral.  After all, he might be even too drunk to know that I'm dead.

My mother worked her arse off to pay for the bills and my father's booze, but my father just beat her up more and more because my mother never had enough money for him.  I felt my hand clench in a fist and I gritted my teeth.

I used the wall to support me as I walked out the door to my house.  I didn't want to stay in there any longer.  The more I stayed, the more chances I had of getting beaten up again.  Slowly, I walked to the library, where I was being paid meagerly.

I could barely remember the days of my childhood, when my father was still a police and not a drunk, when we had enough money without my mother working and when we lived in a house filled with furniture and not beer bottles.

How had everything gone from good to bad and from bad to worst?  I don't know...  All I knew is my father was on a mission and had shot a hostage in the arm by accident, then thrown out the force.  He had tried getting a job, he really did...  Except he wasn't any good except for being a police.  Slowly, beer corrupted him and he drank to forget.

I remember the days where he came back slightly sober, still then, he had never beaten us.  Then we had to move because we didn't have enough money, forcing both my mom and I out to work.  The more my father drunk, the more we had to pay and finally, we ended where we lived now.  The Hellhole.

How I had kept my innocence all these years is still a mystery to me.  My father had tried to get me to go into prostituting to find money, but I ignored him and found a job at the library.  Although I had to admit, if I'd been a prostitute, I probably wouldn't have found much more than I did right now.  With my dirty blonde hair a little longer than my shoulder and my light silvery gray eyes, I was definitely not attractive.  I was more on the ugly side, actually.

Once, my boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend had tried to force himself on me, except I slapped him.  He was willing to pay me and I dumped him right on the spot.  What did he think of me, a whore?  I should be glad, actually.  At least he didn't think of me as a slut.

To most of you that don't know, a slut is very different from a whore.  A slut is one that sleeps with everyone possible, but doesn't get paid for.  Whoring is entirely different.  You get paid after you sleep with the guy.

Finally, I arrived at the library.  Ms. Davis, the librarian mentioned me over, "What are you doing here?  You just got back two hours again."

"My father."  I replied shortly.

She nodded understandingly, "Are you all right?"  I nodded as she touched my cheek softly.  "Poor you...  If only I was your mother..."  She said quietly again, probably for the tenth time today.  Ms. Davis was the only woman worth talking to, although I had long lost my will to speak.  She was a beautiful lady with ebony hair tied up in a bun, her eyes that were wearing glasses were as dark as the wood of the book shelves.  She smiled sadly at me, then gave me a book.  "The book just arrived today.  It's been a while since we've got a brand new book at the library.  Take it."  She told me.

I frowned, shaking my head.

"Take it, Serena.  You're the only one in this crap city that would read anyways.  Why I am still here, I don't know."  She gave it to me.

Finally after a few moments of silence, I took it, "Thank you."

She smiled at me, "You're welcome.  Go sit at your favorite table and read.  I'll tell you when it's time to go home, although like I've said before, you're welcomed to stay for dinner with me.  I'm sure your father," She spat out the last word, "Wouldn't mind."

I shook my head, knowing my father was too drunk to notice what time it was, but I wasn't willing to take the risk.  Although I was prepared to die ever since I found out my mother died by my father's hands, I was not prepared to give my life to that bastard just because I wanted to enjoy a dinner with my favorite person in the world.  I thanked Ms. Davis once again and I went to my favorite table, which was situated at the corner of the small library.

I read the title, _Julie Garwood.  Ransom._  I flipped the book around and began reading the summary in silent.  A romance.  I smiled happily, I absolutely loved any romance I could get my hands on.  It was perhaps the fact that I was missing any sort of love I had from my family, or what was left of my family.  That's why I kept reading romance...  It was for me to imagine what it was like to be loved, although I never would be.

My favorite author would definitely be _Sandra Brown_, especially her _'A Kiss Remembered'_.  There's also _'The Cowboy'_ by _Joan Johnston_.  

As I finished the summary, I couldn't stop but remember the last line on there, why?  I really didn't know, but it stuck to my memory.

_Betrayal can slay trust in a heartbeat...and the greatest risk of all is surrender—to the deep emotions of unexpected love._

I read the story with a smile on my face until I felt a tap on my shoulder.  "Serena, the library is closing.  Are you sure you don't want dinner over at my house?"

I turned around and shook my head.  I followed her out the door and watched as she locked the library door and closed it down.

Ms. Davis looked at me, "All right, if you change your mind, you know where to find me."

I nodded my thanks, "Bye!"  I said to her, waving.  She walked where passed me, where I was suppose to go and she quickly walked ahead of me.  I wondered why she was in such a rush to get home.

I walked the entire way back, sighing while paying attention to everywhere around me, knowing there were people in alleys waiting for unsuspecting girls or women.  Frowning, I scolded myself again for not buying a knife for a weapon, but at the same moment, I reminded myself I didn't have enough money.

I sighed quietly as I walked back home, all the time turning around to see if anyone was following me or acting weirdly.  Finally, I arrived and as I looked at my sorry excuse for a house, I felt dread at the bottom of my stomach, as if something was going to happen...  Something bad.

I unlocked the main door and opened it quietly, the door's hinges squeaked as I pushed it open.  The smell of beer hung in the air...  And an unmistakable smell of blood.  The heavy smell of metallic was in the air as the smell of death lingered there.

I felt my heart beating quicker and quicker, wondering what would meet my eyes.  Perhaps a dead father?  Surely, that would be the best thing that has happened to me in ages, but I had a gut feeling that something this beautiful wasn't going to happen.  Something not beautiful, but awful was going to happen.

Walking quietly, my feet barely made any sounds as I walked towards the kitchen, where the sounds of shuffling were heard.  There, I found a machete laying on the ground beside a bloodied corpse.  One that was perhaps too slashed up to be distinguished who to be who...  If not for the glasses laying on the floor, soaked in blood.

Perhaps I had screamed, perhaps I had not...  The only thought when I felt a hand on my neck knocking me unconscious and making darkness claim me were those glasses...  Ms. Davis' pair of glasses.  Ms. Davis killed...

By my own bloody father.

* * * * *

First, I'd like to thank all the ones who have supported my other fic 'Elves Are Not Perfect' and think this is a good idea for a fic.  This chapter is just a story of how dark Serena's life was before the actual story, so I hope that helps a bit.  Next chapter will be in Middle-Earth, so I hope you all enjoy it!  And I apologize if it's too dark for your taste...  Sorry!  But it's actually the first time I've written something this dark.  It might have to do with Lawrence Block's 'Eight Million Ways to Die'.  Great book, got to recommend it.  By the way, all those books mentioned in this chapter are good.  So if you believe in my taste, read it!  I haven't read 'Ransom' yet, although I've bought it just today...  So I'm going to read it as soon as I finished putting this chapter up.  Thanks again for all the support!  Later!

-Crystal

Sunday, August 10, 2003


	2. To Finally Cry

Chapter 1

By Crystal

Author's Notes: I would just like to state that elvish translations are BESIDE the word, but it does not mean that Serena even KNOWS what it means.  I just wanted to put it there so the readers don't get confused.  Thank you.

*We all know who this belongs to... ^^;;*

I woke up groaning with a pounding headache as I looked around, not knowing where I was.  The only thing I knew was that the sky was dark.  It was dark everywhere...  I only knew that my back was against a tree.

Slowly, I brought my hand up to touch my face, neck, and chest and surprisingly, there was no stains of blood everywhere...  Except in my mouth, it tasted like copper.  I spat the blood out and relaxed back up against the tree...  Closing my eyes, I tried to ignore the pain in my neck.

For the first time in my life, I felt peace as I sat here, just letting my thoughts wander and my body relax.  For the first time, I was free of my father, although he might show up any second...  At least I had tasted the taste of peace, and I shall remember it for a long time.  When I thought things could be no better than it was now, it proved me wrong...

_Ms. Davis..._

I refused to cry for her...  For I would do that later when I knew I was safe from my father's wrath...  I would do that later when he found me and beat me up...  I would cry for her, when he left to drink with his buddies...

I heard the drops of rain, quietly muffled by the blades of grasses; I heard the sound of rain dripping on the leaves right above me.  I laughed.  I stood up and ignored any pain I had and tried to catch raindrops of my tongue, until I hit a tree.  It was then realization dawned on me.  I was in a forest...  One with the healthiest trees I have ever seen.  I stopped in my raindrop catching to look around, only to meet darkness with my eyes, but I touched around, noticing that I was truly in a forest...

I sighed contentedly.  I was certainly in a dream.  Never have I been so free in my life, so...  so contented.  The sounds of the rain calmed me down and for how long I stood there, leaning against a tree, listening to the rain, I did not know.  Nor did I want to know the slightest bit.

It was then, that my dream stopped abruptly.  "Mankoi naa lle sinome?" (Why are you here?)

I blinked as I felt fear crawl up my back, "Who...  Who are you?"  Fear clear in my voice.

"Why are you here and what are you doing here, in the forest of Mirkwood?"  I regal voice asked.

As I turned around slowly, I caught sight of a few men, pointing their bows at me.  One that caught my sight the most was the one standing in the middle, blond hair up to his shoulder, cold blue eyes...  Pointy ears.

And the last thing I recalled was darkness calling to me.

* * * * *

I felt the sun hit my face and forcefully, I opened my eyes.  At that moment, it felt like the worst thing I had ever done in my entire life and without another second's hesitation, I snapped my eyes shut, "Damn it."

Suddenly, I noticed the silky and comfortable thing I was lying on...

_It's not a bed, is it?  What about...  the dream?  With men and pointy ears?_

Finally, I opened my eyes slowly and once my eyes got adjusted to the light, I cast a look around.  Everything was breathtakingly beautiful.  The bed must've cost more than my entire house!  There was a balcony outside and for some reason, there wasn't a window, but feeling the wind on my face wasn't bad, and breathing in fresh air _definitely_ wasn't bad.

My eyes took in every single detail it could.  Most importantly, the walls were not gray.  I was in awed at every single thing around me and I finally concluded this: I must be in Heaven.

Sure, that was a good explanation...  Except for the fact that I broke a thousand rules...  And plus, I did not believe in God.  And I swear like there's no tomorrow.  So this _must_ be Hell.  But if this is Hell, then what does Heaven look like?

After what seemed like an eternity of contradiction and thoughts, I concluded that I was neither in Heaven or Hell.  Great.  So where am I again?

"You are awake then, I take it."  A voice said.

That seems to have made me forget about my thoughts and I took my eyes off the scenery outside...  Only to have those eyes meet with a beautiful woman.

She had hazelnut colored hair that shone in the light; her eyes were the colors of the most beautiful emerald.  She was wearing a plain sleeveless dress that looked stunning on her.

"Do you understand what I am saying?"  She asked.

I nodded.

She smiled, "That is certainly good.  My name is Merenwen Inglorion.  What is yours?"

"Serena Nelson," I replied somewhat shyly and suspicious at the same time.  Who was this stunning woman?  Why am I here?  Where the hell am I?

Her eyes sparkled when I spoke, "Well, you would want to know what happened to you, am I correct?"  She asked, and then added, "I can see it in your eyes that you want questions answered, so I shall answer your questions afterwards."

I nodded again.

"Well, a group of us found you yesterday and I am afraid they frightened you.  They tell me you fell unconscious, and for that, I apologize.  But the Prince helped you on his horse and carried you here.  We were wondering why you were there and unconscious..." Her voice saddened, "Evil has been upon this land for nearly two thousand years.  There is not much hope that Mirkwood will return to its former glory, but the Prince does try to rid the evil of this forest.  Usually, we do not find humans in on our land."

I suddenly frowned, "Prince?"  Since when were there _Princes_ on earth?!  Well, real Princes.

She nodded, "Prince Legolas.  He found you in the forest and when you fell unconscious.  He was checking your wounds and found a few bruises, but he said a drop of blood was rolling from your mouth..." She paused, her eyes filled with sympathy, "When he returned, he got healers to take care of you.  When you got better and did not need the attention of the healers, I watched over you."

"Prince?  Land?  Evil?  Two thousand years?  Humans?  I'm confused..." I admitted, feeling foolish.  "Where...  Where am I?"

"You are in Middle-Earth, Mirkwood."  She replied.

I looked at her, "Middle-Earth...?"  Then for the first time, I noticed her ears and I felt my eyes widen, "Your...  Your ears!"

Merenwen touched reached up and touched her ears…  Then a smile and a small laugh, "Those are my ears.  I am an elf!"  She said, quite happily.

I blinked, "Elf?"  I felt my forehead scrunch up, since when did we have elves living on our planet?  "What are...  Elves?"  I asked, quite shyly, "I haven't heard of real elves before."

A small chuckle left her lips, "We are the First Born...  It is not unusual for Men to not have ever seen an elf in their lifetime, for we keep to ourselves.  But there are exceptions, of course.  But to not have heard of real elves before, that is...  quite unusual.  We are immortal creatures and the only things that can kill us elves are a mortal wound or a broken heart."

I blinked yet again, "Immortal?  You're immortal?  How old are you?"

"Twenty thousand eight hundred ninety four."  She replied.  "How old are you?"

I bit my lips and said in an unintelligent voice, "Seventeen."

Merenwen smiled, "Quite a young one now, are you not?"

Our conversation was cut short as when Merenwen stopped paying attention to me and looked at the door.  I frowned and joined in her activity of looking at the door...  Nothing happened.  Finally, the door opened without a single sound and I felt my eyes open.

The man, or elf...  The one that I saw in the forest gave me a glance, and then looked at Merenwen, "Re naa kuile."  (She is awake.)

Merenwen nodded, "Uma.  Hama sinome, Legolas."  (Yes.  Have a seat, Legolas.)

The male sat down in a seat, quite far away from me.

I felt a frown on my face, wondering what in hell's name they were talking about...  I take it that it was some sort of language the race of Elves spoke.  Soon, my thoughts once again wandered and I wondered if everyone called their Prince by their first name.  Merenwen certainly did it like she spoke of his name everyday...  Then again, she is treating me...  So she must be important in the Kingdom.

Merenwen smiled softly at me, "I beg your pardon, Legolas is wary of men."

Legolas raised his eyebrow, "I am not, Merenwen.  Do not speak of me as if I am not here."  Although he sounded quite serious, there was a hint of playfulness.  He looked at me, "Tell me, who are you?"

I opened my mouth, and then closed it.  Although Merenwen was here and I trusted her and I felt that Legolas meant no harm, I could not bring myself to speak to...  To a _male_.

Merenwen spoke up, "Her name is Serena Nelson."  She looked at me and made a gesture to Legolas, "That, is son of Thranduil, Prince of Mirkwood...  Who is also my fiancé."  Her eyes brightened at the mention of their fiancé and I felt a pang of jealousy.

No, I was not by any means developing a crush on _Prince_ Legolas...  But these elves...  To have so much love...  That, I envy them.

The she-elf stood up quietly and wrapped her arms around Legolas' shoulders and placed a kiss on his neck and he returned it.  I turned away, leaving them to their own privacy...  Only to be surprised by a chuckle.

"I see we are making you uncomfortable."  Prince Legolas said with a smile.

I shook my head, "I am just unused to seeing..." ..._so much love._  I didn't finish my sentence, afraid they would only ask me more.

Suddenly, I wondered why they gave me such a room.  I was a stranger, would I not be staying in jail?  Or maybe dungeons or cells?

Prince Legolas kept his smile, sensing my questions, "We feel that you are harmless."  He stood up and cross the rooms in a few steps, then stood before me, "I must get going now, but I shall see you soon, Lady Serena."  In a swift second, he held my hand and placed a soft kiss on it.

My eyes widened and I took my hand back.  How dare he...  How dare he kiss my hand?

His eyes filled with confusion and sympathy immediately and I bowed my head down, "I'm...  Forgive me, my lord."

He shook his head, "There is nothing to forgive."  He gave me one last smile and gave a chaste kiss on his lover's lips, then departed.

After he departed, long moments were in uncomfortable silence when I finally spoke to Merenwen again, "Forgive me, but I think I shall rest..."

She nodded, walked over to my bed and gave me a small motherly kiss on my forehead, "Quel kaima, hin..."

I frowned, "What does that mean?"

She smiled, "It means 'Sleep well, Child'."  Slowly, she too, departed and left me in complete peace.

I snuggled up to the bed in comfort and at last, my thoughts wandered to the motherly kiss on the forehead.  I felt my heart warm up at the thought.  It had been so long since my mother...  So long...

Finally, I closed my eyes shut tightly as I felt tears flow out, my thoughts on my mother...  Ms. Davis...And a certain she-elf that had treated me as a child.  I should have been insulted, but instead, I felt loved by it.

It was funny how much difference an elf could make.

I finally cried for the death of Ms. Davis, what she was doing at my house, I wouldn't know...

Then, I slept into a dreamless sleep.

* * * * *

yuhi – Hey!  Thank you, later!

DrowningSin32 – I think Serena sounds Mary-Sueish too.  Do you think there's anything I can do to change it?  If yes, please email me or something, because I don't want her to end up too much of a Mary-Sue, although it seems like it's going that way... Oh Lord.  Jya!

Honolulu – Hey!  Thanks.  Well, it won't be TOO dark, it's just the beginning.

Birdwell Island Tribune – Thank you!  Elves, definitely ^^

Siren – Yeah, dark compared to what I usually write.  I don't like her father much either .

Simbelmyrne – Thank you.  See you later, and really sorry for the slow update.

TitanicHobbit – Thanks ^^  Anyhow, see you later! *hugs*

kcauz – Thanks, see you later!  Yeah, there are quite a few mistakes.

Aluinda – Hey!  I'm positive this is a happy ending.

Maggie – Well, here's the second chapter.  See you!

just a reader – Thank you!  See you later!

Alina – Hey.  Thanks ^^

donnamira – Heya.  Thank you ^^

ellie – thanks ^^

Emser – Thanks a lot *hugs*

The Meery Murderess Kitta – Hey!  Well, I really apologize for the slow update of THIS story, although I update 'Until We Meet Again' pretty quick (it's cause I'm more inspired for some reason).  But yep.  See you!

merrylyn – Yeah, dark and gloomy, but there's Legolas!  Yay!  See you later!  Lol, as for Haldir...  I might match him up with Merenwen or something.  *shrugs*

Eevee Goddess Of Light – Thank you!  See ya later.

falonficwriter – Heya.  Thanks a lot.  As for where I got the idea?  I really don't know...  Ideas just pop outta my head for the oddest reason, but it might have to do with me reading 'Eight Million Ways to Die'.  Dark book, but extremely good.  And sorry for not updating sooner!

ElveNDestiNy – Hey!  Thanks a lot ^^

Kyma – I'll update soon, hopefully.  See you later!

wingweaver – Thanks a lot!  I've read Dinathiel's 'Broken', of course.  Well, I don't think this will be as long, but it might...

bianca – Thanks a lot!  See ya!

zarsky – Thanks!

Luindae – Hey!  Thanks...  Hopefullyl really soon.

tigressong – Well, I don't know how I'm going to put it in the story, but I'll tell you now, just in case I forget.  Ms. Davis went to Serena's house because she really wanted to talk with her father...  Since her father was causing her so much pain.

Fahrenheit 451 – Thanks!  See you later!

TwinkieFreak – Heya!  You're on my mailing list!  I'll see you soon!

Patricia – Thanks!

Anaka Greenleaf – Thanks, definitely different.  So much darker.  See you later!

reven989 – Thanks!

Author's Notes: To be truthful, this isn't as good as 'Elves Are Not Perfect' OR 'Until We Meet Again'.  I know that Legolas nor will the Kingdom of Mirkwood trust in someone so quickly, but Elves have their little thing for detecting who's good or evil, so yeah.  Suggestions, comments, ideas are all welcomed.  Thank you!  Sorry for the slow update everyone!  By the way, I got **32 reviews** for the last chapter.  Thank you again!

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

-Crystal


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